You’ve learned to adapt, stay quiet, and carry the weight, but those unspoken rules and old survival patterns are costing you your voice, your life, and your peace.

This quiz will help you uncover the hidden patterns that have been holding you back in your life and relationship, and reveal what it will take to finally move forward with clarity, courage, and certainty that you're taking the right step.

Before You Begin

You may resonate with more than one option in each question — that’s okay.

To get the most accurate result, choose the response that feels most familiar, most frequent, or hits the deepest.

This isn’t about how you “should” feel… it’s about how you’ve survived.

Trust what your body whispers when you read each one aloud.

First Name *

Last Name *

Email *

1. When there’s tension in your relationship, you usually: *

Freeze — you go numb or shut down completely

Stay quiet — keeping the peace feels safer

Smile through it — pretending everything is fine

Adjust your tone or behavior to smooth things over

Try to fix it quickly before it escalates

Handle it yourself — no one else seems to

2. I often catch myself thinking: *

“I don’t even know what I’m feeling right now”

“It’s not worth bringing up — it’ll just make things worse”

“I’m fine. It’s not a big deal”

“Maybe if I were more like [someone else], this wouldn’t be so hard”

“It’s my job to keep this relationship working”

“Why am I the only one putting in effort?”

3. When I’m hurt, I tend to: *

Disconnect — the feeling hits me days later

Say nothing — I just swallow it down

Mask it with a smile or humor

Question whether it’s my fault

Focus on making the other person feel okay

Keep moving — there’s no time to fall apart

4. The hardest thing for me to say in my relationship is: *

5. During conflict, I usually: *

Go blank — I can’t find my words

Retreat — conflict feels dangerous

Smooth it over — even if I’m upset

Say what I think they want to hear

Manage everyone else’s emotions

Try to resolve it myself and keep things on track

6. I’ve learned that love means: *

Staying quiet and out of the way

Not causing conflict

Being the strong, cheerful one

Being adaptable and easy to be around

Always putting others first

Being the one who holds it all together

7. I learned that safety means: *

8. I often feel: *

9. When I imagine asserting a boundary, I feel: *

Frozen — like I can’t access my voice

Afraid they’ll leave or shut down

Guilty or selfish

Worried I’ll be rejected

Like I’m betraying someone I care about

Weak — like I should just handle it on my own

10. I want to feel close, seen, and safe — but… *

I feel nothing when I try to connect

I’m afraid of being dismissed or misunderstood

I can’t let my guard down

I’m not sure who I am in the relationship anymore

I don’t know how to ask for what I need

I’ve convinced myself I don’t need it

11. I feel like I can’t speak up in my relationship because: *

I freeze before I can even try

I’ve learned it’s safer to stay quiet

I’m afraid I’ll fall apart

I don’t trust they’ll accept the real me

I don’t want to hurt or inconvenience them

I’ve never expected to be supported anyway

12. When something’s off, my partner usually: *

Doesn’t notice — I’m too shut down to show it

Pulls away — or ignores my emotions

Assumes everything’s fine — I hide it well

Reacts to whatever version of me I’ve presented

Leans on me to keep things together

Assumes I’ve got it handled — because I always do

Bonus Questions, if these speak to you

This isn’t about whether you stay or go — it’s about what your heart quietly longs for.

If I could rewrite the story of my relationship, the ending I want most is:

I want to feel safe enough to speak honestly and not be punished for it.

I want someone to share the weight — I’m tired of doing it all.

I want to stop pretending and feel emotionally close again.

I want to feel seen and loved for who I really am — not who I’ve become to keep peace.

I want to stop over-giving and feel like my needs matter too.

I want to feel again — I want to come back to myself.

(Choose the one that feels most true for you — even if it’s hard to admit.)

I don’t want to end my relationship. I just want:

To be able to speak up without fear.

To be supported without asking a thousand times.

To feel like I can stop pretending and just be real.

To show up as myself and still be loved.

To stop doing everything — and be chosen for who I am, not what I give.

To feel again — instead of feeling nothing at all.

I don’t want to end my relationship. I just need:

To feel safe enough to feel again.

To feel like my voice is welcome here.

To let my guard down without fear.

To stop disappearing into who they want me to be.

To rest and still be loved.

To not carry everything alone.

(Choose what you most long for in this season.)

I do want to end my relationship. I just need…

“To feel something real — not just silence and numbness.”

“To know I’ll still be okay if I choose myself.”

“To admit the truth I’ve been performing over.”

“To remember who I am outside of this relationship.”

“To believe I’m allowed to walk away without guilt.”

“To stop being the strong one for everyone else first.”